I Found Out My Husband Was on Ashley Madison

I need your help, but I should start by apologizing.  I’m sorry I tricked you, but I was desperate to get your attention.  My husband was not on Ashley Madison, but this does kind of, sort of have something to do with Ashley Madison.  Instead of spending hours searching for my friends’ husbands on there (my husband would never do that,) I’m using that precious and otherwise productive, time to write this blog post that I really don’t want to write.

Calling all bloggers and anyone else who uses the internet.

I really need your help.  No, YOU need your help!

As bloggers we all put hard work into our writing, photography, recipes, or even videos.  We put our hearts and souls into our blogs.  I personally love the interactions and connections and even adventures it brings my way.  I love that I can express myself in a way that never in my life did I know I could.  This gave regular ol’ me a chance to be a writer, something I never would have thought I would do in my lifetime.

Today a piece of that was stolen from me.  It’s time we put an end to this.  We need to expose those thieves that think they can steal our words, steal our website traffic, and steal our relationships.  Because it’s clear they don’t care about people, and they don’t care about relationships.  How could they?

You probably know me from this blog post I wrote in 2011.  My life changed that day I posted it.  In a matter of 3 days 300,000 people had come to visit me here and share their own stories, and it hasn’t stopped since.  A few years ago, I battled someone who stole my content to put on their own website and wouldn’t remove it.  In the end, after they stole my blog and received 11,000 shares on their page of my content, Facebook deleted their post anyway.  I don’t know why, but I kept their identity private.  I think I didn’t want to drive more traffic to them.  Well, yesterday, thanks to my friend Lindsay and my blogger friend Doug, I found out that someone was at it again.  (By the way, check out Doug’s awesome blog!)

This time to the tune of over 25,000 Facebook shares in 3 days.  If you don’t know much about social media– that’s a lot!  If you want to skip the story, please scroll down to my CALL TO ACTION.  Please, help spread the word about this, but DON’T GO VISIT THEIR WEBSITE.  THAT WILL ONLY GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.  Instead, I took screen shots, and besides, their blog isn’t any good anyway.  Who knows what content is even theirs at this point.  (Ironically, it says “copyright 2015” at the bottom of their page.)

I don’t know if this will work, but I hope it does because we need to take a stand, and I’m begging you to help.

They clearly stole my blog word for word, but added titles to the 10 reasons, and you’ll see that apparently Marian Schneider is the author.

:sharethisnow

And they added photos too to “make it their own”:

sharethisnow1

No need to show the whole post.  Wasn’t it so kind of them to hide the link to my blog at the end and say nothing about me being the author?

sharethisnow2

Notice the almost 27,000 Facebook shares of my post?  Last night at 7 pm, it was 15,000.  As you can see from this other post, Share This Now is nothing special.  It’s the CONTENT of MY article that is special.  This one has been up for a week and only has 257 shares.

sharethisnow5

So what happened anyway?

I politely contacted them informing them of the problem:

Hi, It has come to my attention that your website has posted my copyrighted content without my permission or the proper credit given to me. Your website has received over 14k Facebook shares from MY content that was stolen from my website and you are essentially stealing traffic from my site. Please respond immediately with your proposal of how you plan to remedy this situation. It is titled 10 Reasons Your Dentist Probably Hates You Too.

Hector replied:

Hi Laura, we are very sorry for the mistake. We have been online for less than two weeks, and we are still restructuring. We had taken the measures we believe are appropriate to fix the situation. The link now is working properly deriving visits to your site, and we are going to make the proper disciplinary measure with the author who published that post. If you think that measure is not enough please let us know. Cheers.

Great, so they now actually added the link, but that’s not enough:

Hi, thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. The link to my blog is still too obscure and still doesn’t make it clear that I am the author. If you would like to continue to have it posted, this is an acceptable alternative… [a word for word example of how they can post it]…  In other words, I do not mind if you have a teaser first paragraph or two, but then I would like the readers to have to click through to my blog to read the rest.

And the bastard actually blew me off and then asked me to follow him!?!?

ok Laura, thanks for your reply as well. We’ll take care. By the way, you are hereby invited to take a look at our website, there are a lot of things that you are going to find interesting and you are also invited to give us a like on facebook.

Me:

Ok, so you will change to the format I suggested? When can I expect to see this? I love to support other websites for their hard work. Please support us too– we are just regular people who have worked hard to write our content and have our own sites to manage too.

Hector:

oks, tomorrow you can check our site with the changes made.

Meanwhile, I’ve been investigating how to shut his site down.  Like I say here, this isn’t my first rodeo:

Really??? I would like it to be done immediatelyYour shares of my content are growing by the minute. You have already robbed me of over 15,000 hits. That is A LOT of damage already. I am trying to be nice about this, but I don’t have patience for this kind of runaround.   I’ve been down this path before. Either I can file the complaint and have the content removed completely, or you can be a good person and do the right thing yourself.

Hector:

ok, look, we had had our good shares of our content appearing in other webs, and our solution was to ask them to have our site as a source. And we’ve agreed upon that. Your site is already appearing as a source.

Me:

Not according to how I have requested. Why are you so against giving my own site the proper traffic it deserves? Do you see how that is a win-win for both of us? Or do you only care about your own site?  So you basically lied to me and said you would take care of it, and all you’ve done is linked to my blog in a way that does not honor my wishes. That is my legal right as the owner of this content.

No response from Hector, and my final message:

That’s fine. I just checked one more time to see if you acted with integrity, Hector. But it seems you have not, so I am currently reporting you to your web host. Remember your values dude. “Platform used by creative people in order to fight boredom.” Stealing content and being uncooperative is not being creative. “Laugh, but don’t be a jerk about it.” Walk the talk , dude. Walk the talk.

What did I mean by that?  They have 2 taglines on their Facebook page: Platform used by creative people in order to fight boredom,” and, “Laugh, but don’t be a jerk about it.”  Hmm… ironic.

If you’ve ever read my blog, you will see that I treat everyone with respect.  I either ignore nasty comments to me, or I reply with kindness.  I try to only stay positive on my social media because I believe there is too much negativity out there.  I don’t say nasty things because people are too mean to each other on the internet.  But Hector chose a bad day to cross me.  I have no problem revealing to you, the man that he is.  Here is the public information about this website:

sharethisnow godaddy

I have had a lot of people cut and paste my 10 Reasons post, and maybe I should have corrected them, but when it was for small personal blogs that only brought in a few hits here and there, I let it go.  That was then, and this is now.  Now I see now how turning that blind eye can lead to bigger problems down the road.  Why am I so angry about this?  Not only do I care about the connections I make through my blog, but I am also writing a book.  It’s a book that I think a lot of you will like.  It’s a book that the 28,400 people (by now, and who knows how many more) might never have a chance to see.  It damages my chances as a potentially budding author who, like I’ve said, has put my heart and soul into this work I do.  And that’s why I’m so pissed, and that’s why I need to do something about this.

A CALL TO ACTION:

UPDATE POSTED 8/22/2015, 30 hours after original posting:

I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone for helping fight the bad guys.  We have definitely ruffled their feathers!  Thanks to all of your actions, they have disabled comments on their Facebook page, and I’m not sure why, but they’ve also disabled the information that shows how many Facebook shares they’ve had.  They’ve changed how they attributed the blog post to me about 6 times– removing the link, changing the verbiage from “Source: lolabees” to Inspired by: Lolabees, to even a few more variations.  They’ve deleted all of the comments about their theft problem, and now added them all back!  All of this in only 1 day.  It’s reassuring to know that there are a few good people out there who act with integrity and stand up for what’s right!  At this point, I think the best thing we can do is if you see their post on Facebook posted by one of your friends, let your friend know that the blog post is stolen and ask them to delete their link and replace it with this link: https://lolabees.me/2011/11/28/10-reasons-your-dentist-probably-hates-you-too/

Thank you!!

So what can you do in 3 simple steps?

Whatever you do, PLEASE DON’T GO VISIT THEIR WEBSITE.  THAT WILL ONLY GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT, which is money they are earning from my content.

  1. First share this post!  If you are my friend, do me a tiny favor.  If you are a fellow blogger, do it for all of us.  I know you would feel the same way if this (and it probably has) ever happened to you.  Do it for our blogging community.  If you reblog or share this, I’ll create a page on my blog and link back to your blog on it (Let me know if you do, so I can be sure to include you.)
  2. Next go to Share This Now’s Facebook page, and share this blog post, and tell them  how you feel about their behavior.
  3. If you are open to helping me keep 10 Reasons Your Dentist Probably Hates You Too in the hands of its rightful owner, add the real link to it to their Facebook page and post that you know they stole this content.  If you see their post on Facebook posted by one of your friends, let your friend know that the blog post is stolen and ask them to delete their link and replace it with this link. Here it is for you to cut and paste:  https://lolabees.me/2011/11/28/10-reasons-your-dentist-probably-hates-you-too/

Like I said, Hector chose the wrong day to steal from me.  My dog died last week, and I’m not in the mood to sit idly by and watch this man steal from me.  Besides, I’m sure I would have found someone I know on Ashley Madison by now.

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52 thoughts on “I Found Out My Husband Was on Ashley Madison

      1. Woosh I’m here late, very late, but at least I’m still here. That’s the value of this little community!
        And what a terrible episode this must have been for you! How did you find out, by the way?
        I would be so, so furious…

        1. RR, nice to see you again! I received several emails from people telling me that they saw my post on this other website. I will say… people are pretty awesome about looking out for others!

  1. Laura, I went to their Facebook page, and couldn’t find the post. Is it possible they’ver deleted it since you wrote this?

    1. For some reason it never showed up on their FB page, but they have no contact information on their own website, so that was the only way I could message someone. I have just posted a link of this post to their FB page with my comment in the blank you can comment on their page.

  2. I saw this yesterday and I KNEW it was your article!! I tried to tag you in it but it wouldn’t let me. I can’t believe someone would so blatantly steal like that.

    1. No, they copied and pasted my post and never attributed it to me. Then they placed a small link to my blog which wasn’t what I asked for in return for using my content.

  3. Well, when I saw the headline right after reading about your dog dying just a few days ago, I was incredibly relieved when I saw that you just used the headline to grab attention! Whew!

    Of course, the reason you had to write the article is also pretty awful; as a blogger, I know how sucky it is when your content is stolen, so I’ll definitely be doing my part to share the real article on social media everywhere that I can. I’m also adding a link to it from an article I wrote on my personal blog a couple years ago that is quite relevant: http://chipspersonallog.com/dentists-greedy-scumbags/

    1. Ha! Can you imagine if they both happened in the span of a week. I’m still not sure if my title was appropriate or not, but it made me chuckle. We have to inject a little humor, right?

      Thank you so much for supporting the cause here. Bloggers certainly do understand the importance of this. I can’t wait to check out your blog… I’m sure you’ve commented here before, but I’m not sure I knew you had a blog?? Looking forward to following!!

  4. Good for you, Laura. The whole media industry is full of this kind of many “creative” Hectors and it’s nice to see one get called out. It is, however, a little ironic that you used a topical headline to lure us in. 🙂

    1. It sure is. I do believe a lot of people don’t know they’re stealing. That’s why I try to be nice at first. But then it becomes very apparent, very quickly that they are dishonest thieves, and they don’t care about hurting others. Finally!! Someone commented on my title! I can’t really tell what you think about it, but it totally cracked me up!

    1. Fraggs, thanks!! I knew you’d be on to say something. They are removing a lot of the comments, but at least we are a little thorn in their sides before they get shut down…

    1. Thanks, Dr Harry! I am seeing that commenting on their Facebook page isn’t doing much, but if you care to share this blog on facebook, twitter, or anywhere you are connected, and ask your friends to share, then we can spread the word about these bad people.

  5. I loved your list and sadly, didn’t know it was stolen when I read it on that jerk’s site. So I guess when we take someone else’s list and add cute little pictures, it still is stealing huh? Crazy little world. (Yes, that was sarcasm. I know adults who still think they can just change a little thing her or there and make it their own- without credit). Now after reading another of the lists for what not to say, who they stold those from.

    1. Oh, and I went to their FB page, like others have. I chose to comment on their cover photo where they mention not being a jerk and ask them why they were.

      1. Ha! Thanks! You’re the best! They’re pretty good about deleting those posts, but at least they are getting constant reminders that they are bad people doing bad things!!

    2. Erin, thank you so much! It’s so amazing to know that people out there care enough about this to take a few minutes to help! Ha! THey made it look like their own, didn’t they? I absolutely would not be surprised if all of their content was stolen.

  6. Sorry ‘lolabees’ but I disagree with your approach. The owners of this website you mentioned at the end of the article. It’s too obvious (in the article ShareThisNow) that you are the author (this is evident, do not worry!). I do not understand what your concern. Blame for ‘bad people’ to these guys when in fact they are doing you a favor !. What did you expect them to be doing? How do you expect them to act? You have to be grateful that you mention them in the article. You have no idea the amount of content that is shared in this way on the Internet? This happens with BuzzFeed, the HuffingtonPost, the NYT, etc, etc, etc. and none of these claims desperately !.

    Do not worry ‘lolabess’ you’re going to sell as many books as you had planned. and even more thanks to the great work of dissemination that have made these guys!

    I think your vision is a little biased. This is just my opinion.

    Sincerely, Mark.

    1. Mark, I appreciate your input, and I wish I could say that you’re right, but your beliefs about how this works just aren’t true. Do you remember recent news about Taylor Swift cutting ties with music sharing sites because she wants to and deserves to be paid for her work. Do you know that what “Steal This Now” did is AGAINST THE LAW?? As the owner of the content, I get to decide how I want it shared. You can’t just go and pick up content and claim it as your own. I suggest you do some research on this. You seem to be very excited about what this website is doing. Forgive me if I am wrong, but it sounds a little like you might be one of the “authors” on Steal This Now, I mean, Share This Now.

      And no, I am not grateful to them. They ARE bad people who don’t respect other people. As Cat said below, they are clickbaiting a$$holes. Read the Dental Warrior’s comments, and you’ll see it’s clear they are making money off of my content. Do you know that I have received 4 clicks to my blog from this entire post? Do your research. It’s beliefs like yours that keep perpetuating falsehoods about this issue.

  7. I saw a post on their site about 15 photos of Columbia and I wondered who’s pictures they stole, but they gave credit and link to the photographer so maybe they are learning a lesson.

    1. Thank you, Nomi. I will look into that right away. I’ve done a bitof research on copyright but seem to not have come across that… off to do more research, I guess!

  8. Something being overlooked here…. They’re just not stealing your intellectual property. They’re PROFITING from it. See those ads? That’s REVENUE for them. And, they’re using YOUR content to make that money.

    If the website / owner was in the U.S., I suspect this would be a slam-dunk case in which you could sue and recover “treble damages.” But, it appears he’s in Argentina.

    I found this article about international copyright infringement. I just glanced at it without reading it thoroughly. Maybe it will help: http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/internet-copyright-infringement-by-foreigner.html

    1. EXACTLY DentalWarrior!!! They’re earning revenue and taking revenue away from me at the same time. Just makes it a double whammy. Thanks for the link. I will check it out. When GoDaddy gets back to me, they should shut them down for this…

  9. I added your story both to my personal and blog Facebook pages. This does happen far too often. When I was a brand new baby blogger just learning the ropes, I had something similar happen and was absolutely furious as I watched it go viral, so I support and defend your anger over this!

    In light of your other stress, I hope you don’t mind my sharing this link to you from my own writings. I’m SO very sorry you lost your pet. This pain, I truly understand, and hope this will help you heal. http://mendedwheels.com/how-to-mourn-your-pet/

    If you ever need to talk about it, please email me!

    1. Hi Jill, thanks so much!! It’s a terrible feeling, isn’t it? I’d love to see the blog that someone else used to go viral. Were you able to stop them? Thanks so much for the link! I will definitely check it out and link to it on my Ruby post! Thanks again for the offer of support in so many ways. This is the real experience that these thieves rob from us.

  10. I apologize if this comes through as a double posting.

    I wanted to tell you as a fellow blogger that I support your decision to chase after these folks for stealing your written content. I’ve had something similar happen to me, and it’s incredibly frustrating! I have re-posted you on my personal and blog Facebook pages. I was lead to the stolen link originally, but you should know that your story also popped in my news feed after I read the stolen content, and this post is making the rounds!

    I also hope you don’t mind my sharing a link to you in regards to your lost pet. When I wrote it, it helped me heal significantly from the loss of a pet, and I hope it does the same for you. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to email me, as a blogger and a pet lover!

    http://mendedwheels.com/how-to-mourn-your-pet/

    1. Hi Cat, it looks like we’ve had under 200 FB shares at this point. Luckily, it looks like over 11,500 people have gotten the chance to see what these jerks are doing. Unfortunately, the content in this post isn’t as good as the content from my stolen post, so these guys are still profiting way too much from this. Thanks for checking in.

  11. A friend posted that article and I clicked through, didn’t read the whole thing (sorry now), but that was just a few minutes ago so it is still up. However, you know how when you click through on someone’s post and fb gives you the “you may like this” type of other links? THIS ONE was the first one! I think that helps, as it made me click through to yours, and I then shared the url with the friend who originally posted. Hopefully, her friends will see that and share the truth.

    1. HI Karen, thanks for much for the support! Most people don’t realize when they share something like that, so I just try to raise some awareness. Thank you so much for telling your friend. It’s sort of a grass roots effort, but I think every little bit we can do helps.

  12. Damn cheese muffs. Not much more to say about these folks. As for your title, for some reason it made my heart try to jump into my head. I know so many cool couples that are splitting over bizarre, online shenanigans; I thought you were another one!
    Sorry to hear about your dog. My wife has one of those ex boyfriend dogs too. He must be at least thirteen now! Anyway, check your email if you get time.

    1. I know. I was so mad, and I was driving to work the same day the whole Ashley Madison scandal was going down, and I was trying to think of a title to bring people to my post. They were talking about it on the radio, and it just hit me. I knew I wanted to find a way to get more attention to see the jerks. so sorry I tricked you like that. I did get permission from the hubs before I used that title. Thanks– we are looking at puppies this weekend!! Can’t stay away any longer.

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