10 Signs You Need a New Job

For years I ignored the fact that I was unhappy practicing dentistry.  A few times in my decade of practice, I seriously considered getting out.  But each time, I convinced myself to stay.  My biggest excuse was the economy.  As luck would have it, right when I concluded I wanted to change, things started to tank.  People were out of jobs, and I told myself I should have felt lucky to at least have one.  While that excuse was very real, it was just that– an excuse.  I don’t regret it because it forced me to stay in the career for 6 more years and determine if it was really the job or the career.  As the years went on though, I couldn’t live with myself anymore.  No more excuses.  Work was wearing me down, and I forced myself to stop and pay attention to what was really going on.  In case you are as distracted or in denial as I was to notice whether you should make a change in your life or not, here are some clues that helped me.  You can’t make the change until you know you want it.

10 Signs You Need a New Job… or Maybe Even a New Career

  1. You buy a Powerball ticket every chance you get, and it’s not just a quick, carefree purchase.  It’s a ritual born out of desperation.  You check the numbers on the ticket, daydreaming and lusting for a different future.  Whether you win or not, it feels so good to escape your life even for just a few moments.
  2. You come home from work every night reeling about your day.  Your spouse is getting tired of the incessant complaining same old stories.  When he/she asks how your day was, the best you can come up with is a less than enthusiastic, “it was okay.  Meh.”

    Complaining
    Photo credit: Gianna Borgnine
  3. You get upset or angry more often and notice you are more negative than usual.  You always blame your bad mood on your job.  I used to do that all the time.  I thought I was using my job as an excuse to be in a bad mood.  Now I realize it was in fact my job, and those moods almost never come around.
  4. That glass of wine can not hit your lips fast enough by the time you get home… okay, it’s really 2 glasses.  You need to forget about your shitty day.

    Just one or two tequilas will help.
    Just one or two tequilas will help.
  5. You sometimes cry on the way home from work.  Duh, that’s a pretty obvious sign.  (Yeah, yeah, excluding the men.  Am I the only one who did this?  I suggest not crying on your way to work.  The “I have allergies” excuse only works so much.)
  6. When people ask what you do for a living, you wish you could lie.  You think about it during most of your waking hours, and you really don’t want to devote even a second of it to your Saturday night out.  You used to be proud of what you did, but now you resent it.
  7. A piece of you wants to fail.  Even when opportunities arise, you don’t really want them.  You fear anything that will make you feel more committed, or in other words, more stuck.
  8. Weekends are amazing, but Sunday nights are hard.  I’m not talking about your typical Sunday Night Blues.  I mean the you-want-to-crawl-in-a-dark-hole-and-never-come-out blues.  There is a difference.
  9. One word: insomnia.  Nothing is more miserable than waking up at 2 am and worrying about the implant crown you just placed that looks perfect functionally but catches food every time your patient eats.

    Worry
    Photo credit: StormKatt
  10. You get sick more often.  Maybe it’s stress.  Maybe your body is trying to tell you something.

I experienced all of the above at some point or another, and it still took a series of very clear recurring dreams to get my attention.  I’m guessing that wouldn’t normally make a top ten list of most common signs, but it was a very helpful tool for me.  Once I began to notice them, I became very mindful of their presence and purpose.  This was surprisingly my best tool for creating some self-awareness.

Do you have any signs pointing to change that you’ve noticed… or maybe even ignored?  What are they?

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60 thoughts on “10 Signs You Need a New Job

  1. I once new a man who had a great job. His company was going broke. They told him he would have a job but it was in completely different area. He needed to feed his family. He accepted the new job. Every morning after that he would get in his car, drive half way to work, stop the car, vomit from nervousness, get back in the car, finish the drive to work and do his job.
    I had great pity for this nice man.
    True story.

    1. Wow, Wally! Talk about an extreme reaction. Poor guy. I would say that’s a strong sign that you need to get out as fast as you can! That must have been awful– especially having to trade a job you love for this. I hope he quickly found a better job.

      1. No he didn’t. However, after some time, he became very used to vomiting.
        May I make an observation please? New York State has chased out many corporations with their assinine regulations and red tape created by bureaucrats. This was just another victim of that practice. Sorry about the rant.

    1. It’s the best! I used to work a 4 day week with Wednesdays off, and I started on Mondays at 1 pm. It was hell. Not only was it 1 Sunday night, but I always got a second case of the Sunday night blues on Wed night. And I spent Monday morning doing nothing but feel anxious about having to start my day. So glad those days are over.

      1. I cannot believe you really felt like this.
        I was starting to think I am the only loose who feels anxious and scared about starting my ride to work.
        Ofcourse I was scared especially when everyone else at the office seemed so calm and content about themselves.
        I do feel the sundays night, and not just the night, the whole day, really really bad-i am sorry my native tongue is not English because I can’t express exactly how I felt about it.
        But I still can’t explain how you managed to practice dentistry and to hate it for 10 whole years.And I suppose you were pretty at good at it too.
        Now I am spending my weekend in fear of dispair because I have a patient with endo treatment and she will be away for one week..and I am scared to death that I didn’t manage to clean the root canals well enough and she will experience pain during her one week holiday…and who knows..she will even come back with some acute infection…and it will be all my fault.
        I feel horrible.
        If I knew how difficult this job is I would have never accepted to even try to do it.
        😦
        God…I panick so much…it’s changing my mood, my life , my relations with people.

        1. Allison, I’ve learned that communication really helps to reduce the stress of dentistry. Warn as much as you can about side effects and never give guarantees. You’re panicking because you’re taking responsibility for the success of the outcome. When you can’t. There are too many biological and physical factors at work. Placed a porcelain crown? Warn that the porcelain could fracture. Placed a bridge? Warn that the abutments could de-vitalise or fracture off. Just cleaned the root canals? Warn that it’s a blind technique and we have to let the body do the rest. If your patient is going on holiday, tell them to find the nearest dentist in case they need to see them. If you feel comfortable, give her a prescription for some antibiotics for ‘just in case’.

          I had a mentor who always said to plan for failure. He would tell his patients that the mouth is a harsh environment full of millions of bacteria. And that because of that, all dentistry eventually fails. So plan for failure. If they wanted a bridge, he would say, that’s fine. But when the abutment crowns fail, worst case scenario is that you’ll lose two healthy teeth. So then we’ll make you a denture. Or, you can save up for an implant. You can be an averagely good technician with your hands, but if you plan for failure and are realistic about your limitations and that of the treatment, I think you’ll be able to enjoy a much better ride.

          It doesn’t help that people often have such high expectations. Lower those expectations until they are actually lower than what you can provide. The ones who appreciate honesty will keep coming back! 🙂

  2. Yea, #8 I lie awake at night and can’t sleep for no good reason other than when I wake up its Monday again. And I have been looking for a good answer to # 6 for as long as I can remember. Great stuff Lola! Hope you’re doing well!

    1. Thanks, Andy. The Sunday night blues are like tooth decay. They’ll always be around. They really are so rough. I’m wondering if you have made any progress toward your goal that we talked about last time??

  3. Identify with all of the above. Read your post this morning prior to heading out to work…left with a feeling of despair. Not your fault Lola, i’m grateful for someone sharing their experience, but I have yet to find an alternative job/career and can’t afford to quit the current one. Ho hum. Waiting for your posting on ‘how to find a really cool and exciting job that will make you feel happy when you wake in the mornings and not dread mondays’. 🙂

    1. Oh Rebecca, TGIF!!! You have 48 hours of bliss ahead of you (unless you’re on call!) LOL. You made me realize that it’s a good thing this posted Thurs night. I feel your pain. Keep looking with an open mind and hopefully something will show up for you. The next few posts should be about actually making change or at least working toward that. One trick to curing the Sunday night blues is to not work Mondays- j/k. I hope to soon have the secrets to finding that dream job… working on it. We’ll see.

  4. I am 8 out of 10 on that list. But ADD :

    1. When there is a tornado warning in your area, you are hoping your office gets leveled, but no injuries though, lol.

    2. When you stop advertising for new patients.

    3. Secretly happy when your patients cancel sometimes, especially the ones you don’t like.

    4. And the biggest one for me, and this just happened to me 3 days ago : clenching my teeth so hard it sends me into a migraine and nausea. I don’t wear my guard, Bad Patient ! Lol. You know the patient’s, the ones with the big strong tongues, cheeks, tense/tight muscles, the moving jaw, and on and on, I just want to scream DAMN IT ! So it’s those patients that I get so drained on I clench, sad but true.

    1. #1. HAHAHA! I knew I was missing something. I actually used to wish for a water main break or power outage, so I could at least go home for the day. 😀
      And #3– I can totally relate to that.
      I never advertised because I was an associate, but I handed out my husband’s business card more than I ever shared my own.
      #4- man, that’s rough. Sometimes we are so busy taking care of everyone else that we forget about ourselves! You might not wear your NG, but you do floss, right? 😉

    2. I have most of the signs on that above list too and agree with LandsEnd about hoping for a tornado or snowstorm or some disaster ( that does not hurt anyone) so I don’t have to go to work!! One time we had a small flood and had to close the office and I was secretly happy!! I pretended not to be but I was glad to get out of work that day. I too am secretly happy when patients cancel sometimes especially if they are a pain or if it is a procedure that I don’t want to do anyway. Is anyone else sick and tired of doing class II composite restorations all the time? I honestly enjoyed and preferred working with amalgam but patients don’t want that anymore and I get tired of trying to isolate a second molar or try to do these on a difficult patient who moves all over and hate using the stupid rubber dam!! Seriously-we are forced to work with a material in the WET mouth that can only be placed when things are dry?? Not to mention I still have issues getting a good contact sometimes and it is super frustrating. I have visions of throwing my curing light out of my operatory window because I never want to hear that annoying beep again!! And yes, I read somewhere on here that you stop trying to learn more because you no longer care and it is true. I don’t care about the latest and greatest things going on in dentistry. The spark is gone. Also, someone wrote about the fact that they went into dentistry to please their family. I did the same thing and no one in my family has any idea what it is like to be a dentist. I did not follow my true passion, I listened to career advice that was certainly well intentioned but not right for me.

      1. Hi Blue Heron,

        I get tired of placing composites too sometimes. I would be happy just doing crowns all day, but I had a patient today we were doing crowns on and she wore us out. She was gurgling and hacking every 5 seconds, it was just a mess. My assistant and I were spent, I was glad she was my last patient of the day.
        I actually talked to a director at grad school today and I have an appointment with a career counselor next week. If I get into grad school, classes actually start in August. So the ball is set in motion. I’m excited. It will be a challenge though while still trying to practice, it will just take me a little longer to get the masters I want. It just feels good to have a plan.
        Good luck to you and hang in there.

  5. Wow! I can relate to so many of those signs! As you know, I recently returned to dentistry after many years away from the profession being a mom. There was nothing else I could “be” and this was the quickest way back to a paying job. I hoped things would be different this time around, and it was at the beginning. I’ve recently started as an associate with a wonderful woman dentist who has really been patient with me getting back into the groove and has become a great mentor. I should be thrilled, right? I have never been so anxiety ridden in my life! It’s not just a Sunday night thing for me, it’s every night before I have to work. I’ll be in the middle of a crown prep and wonder why in the hell I decided to do this again. I’m trying to expand my experience level and got my sedation certification and am taking an Invisalign class thinking it will ignite the fire in me that has apparently gone out. My “boss” is very gung ho about dentistry and is in the process of buying a bigger office to expand and I’m getting the feeling she expects me to be a workaholic like she is and well, I’m not!

    I do like the concept of dentistry and learning all the new technology and gadgets that are out there now. For this reason I think being on the faculty at a dental school would suit me better. I don’t hate dentistry per se, just the daily drill and fill and making production quotas have been hard for me to deal with. So that is my plan for now. Fake it until I make it somewhere else! LOL

    Thank you for coming up with these signs! I think we can all see a little something there even if we don’t admit to it!

    1. Wow, Kristen. In a way I didn’t expect to hear that from you, but at the same time I guess I’m not surprised. I’m sorry to hear about the anxiety. Yuck! As a lot of people mentioned in my last post, practice isn’t right for certain personalities, and maybe you’re one of them. I always thought it would be a lot of fun to teach. At one point I had a colleague convince me that the red tape and BS at the school was way worse than in private practice (his girlfriend was trying to get out of that world and into private practice,) so I decided to dump that idea altogether. It’s worth looking into. It sounds like that might be a good thing for you. It sounds like #7 is going to be the big one for you in the near future.
      Good luck! You might just have to face that ugly beast one more time. 😉

  6. I would say, with the stress and physically demanding profession we have; insurance companies need to get their sh++ together and start compensating us with fees that we deserve. This may make going to work more fun! I would have to say though that when I have pleasant patients scheduled, my day is a lot less stressful. But……….it’s rare to get a pleasant patient anymore! Maybe, we should consider a little pregaming in the reception room!

  7. I’ve got all the 10 signs.
    I’m a dentist
    And it is so tough sometimes- too many times! it’s just such a hard work, adrenaline, worrying for your patient, it’s a huge responsibility.It really is stressful and it’s so hard for me to hang on.
    I wish I wasn’t so easy to manipulate, I wish I never listened to my mother’s carreer advice.
    I can only say NEVER listen to a person who gives you advice about a job he or she has never ever practiced or studied about.
    JUST because someone thinks that being a dentist/lawyer/doctor/priest is the best thing you could do it doesnt mean it’s true.
    Am I wrong here or what?

    1. That’s a huge problem– worrying for your patients. I did it way too much, and I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. If you can get yourself alter that sense of responsibility, it would be great, but otherwise, you’ll beat yourself down. Some personalities just aren’t cut out for it.

      Good point. You are totally right. Many people have perceptions without having ever experienced something, and many people go into this and other careers for everyone else.

  8. A good one for me has been that I havent treated the first patient of the day and I’m already looking at my watch hoping is time to get out. And reality strikes, it has been only 10 minutes since I arrived, plenty of hours left.

    That picture made me realize I need to buy some boose.

    1. That reminds me of another one– I always arrived in the morning tired and grouchy and wanting to be left alone. Sad. It wasn’t until the patient walked in and I had to “put on my show” that my mood would lift.

      Oh- one more I just thought of. You stop wanting to grow and learn and try new techniques. You just don’t want to be bothered.

      Glad my photo reminded you of what you really need. 😉

  9. Just finished work on a Saturday..my whole one day weekend is about to be ruined based one just one patient..you know, the one that is jumpy, keeps moving her tongue, and doing everything to go against you. I think insomnia is happening tonight..just worrying about the bite being off, and the discomfort that the patient will experience..although she tells you that the bite feels normal…ahh the joys of being a dentist…Ready to hang up the drills now..been through too many ups and downs that is wreaking havoc on my health.

  10. I am interested to find out what work other dentists are doing now since they quit practicing. Just want to see what other options there are besides teaching at a dental school.

    1. So much worrying and so many ups and downs. I hope you slept last night. I worked 1 or 2 Saturdays ever and decided that the following week was always too hard for me. I couldn’t recover, so never again! I have yet to find what you can do in dentistry that doesn’t involve teaching or public health. I did come across 1 guy working for an insurance company *gasp*, and he seemed to like it. Maybe talking to some of the implant or supply companies to see if there is a need for dentists. I think the good thing to remember is that if you can’t find something you want to do in the field, there is something else out there for you. I am in weight loss now– a very natural transition for a dentist– and I’m also working on producing some food products. So… you never know. 🙂

  11. I would like to say something about teaching. I left private practice a year ago for every single reason everyone has listed here. I had really no idea what to expect from teaching because I only knew what private practice was like. For my personality it has turned out to be the most amazing job for me. Teaching still has its stresses but for me they are more manageable. My livelihood isn’t depending on how much I collect. I am not responsible for the livelihood of my staff and their families. On the other hand there are a lot of students that are horrible to deal with. I’ve learned to focus on the ones who care about learning. I’ve never been happier. I’ve also never worked harder and longer hours and made less! But I feel like I’m really making a difference in their lives and that’s what is truly important to me…helping people. Only now I’m choosing students over patients. I’m on the clinic floor 100% of the time so I am still getting to do some dentistry. It was the scariest thing I ever did and it killed me financially. But I feel like I am truly where I should be.

    1. I am so glad to hear your input. I always thought I would really enjoy teaching, and may just volunteer part-time one of these days. As with practicing, I think teaching takes a certain personality type. I bet a lot of the people who comment on this blog have the personality for teaching. I think you have found the keys that really resonate with me– “Teaching still has its stresses but for me they are more manageable. My livelihood isn’t depending on how much I collect. I am not responsible for the livelihood of my staff and their families.” Congrats to you for having the courage to make the change and find joy, service, and purpose in your work! As you mentioned, those things are all much more important that the $$.

  12. I’m starting to think more and more seriously about going for a few sessions of carreer coaching.
    Because it’s the only thing I never tried when I needed a guide for this – my parents, friends, colleagues couldn’t help, I personally couldn’t help myself…so I have been avoiding this ideea of coaching for a long time, I didn;t even take it into consideration..but now since I’m so stressed out, tensed, worried…I’m thinking how long will I be able to handle it?
    It’s the first time I hear the phrase “Some personalities don’t match with private practice”- that was always my point but never knew how to express it to others around me-I’ve always said that it’s too hard for me and everyone kept saying to try more because it will be easier.
    To be honest I often feel exhausted physically and mentally after one difficult patient, but what will I do when I will have 2 patients or more one after another?I’m not at the stage yet.
    I can’t stop regreting people around me never truly listened to me or refused to believe me.I guess they could not understand what I was going through.
    And I can’t stop thinking that if they listened I would be more peacefull now…
    Oh…I just hope some day my life will be easier to me.

    1. Meanwhile if you keep practicing. Stop worrying about patients, DO YOUR BEST JOB and forget about the whole deal, its difficult at first but you start to learn it. If you focus on doing that.
      Learn to be OK with the worst case scenerio, while performing the best every patient allows you to do, whats the worst thing that can happen if someone develops an accute infection, you prescribe antibiotics and thats it, he will suffer but he is the one who didnt brush and keep procastinating going when it was a small cavity. I actually tell patients in this case, its probably gonna hurt, either because of stressed periodontal fibers or some extra canal and if it does take this painkiller. I have seen endo treatment performed by endodontists fail in the first year and it was not the endodontist fault, its just something that happens even when you do your best job. And it happens with every treatment, no matter how great you perform.
      I learned that from an oncologist friend of mine, he perfoms surgery on guys that are going to die eventually and sometimes even on the operating table. He gave me some perspective on stuff, and how to avoid feeling sorry for people, imagine how miserable he would be if he had empathy for every person with cancer he treated. I mean he do care about people but no to the point it interfere with his life. Same with ER doctors and nurses.
      But you are rigth there are people that could not be in his shoes for a day. And thats why I think career coaching is great. But while you practice, do it in a way that is soft on yourself. That way you will be in a better shape for the next patient.

      1. Thank you Tavo.
        Your reply was very good and accurate.
        It’s good that your friend who is a surgeon could offer you his experience with patients.It’s true, surgeons have a great deal of stress about their job too.
        I don’t want to become someone who just complaints, because I’m not like that always, but it just keeps happening- that bad day every once in a while that shatters you a bit.It’s hard to deal with it.To be honest it’s something that has to be learned, because when I started this job I never once gave a thought about the disadvantages because I never knew them…so now I feel a bit overwhelmed once in a while and that brings me down.
        It’s like growing up, taking up more responsability.
        Time will tell.

    2. Allison, I think that is a brilliant idea. If you haven’t seen it, I wrote a post about my experience with my career coach, and the biggest moment was deciding that it was okay to ask for help. https://lolabees.me/2012/04/19/some-things-you-cant-do-alone/ I really needed it too! I loved my career coach and gained a lot from working with her, but it didn’t just stop there for me. If you have someone to help you, then it takes some of the pressure off f feeling like you have to do it all alone.

      It sounds like you feel like you were pressured to go into the career? Our family and friends think they are helping us by encouraging us to keep on truckin’, but sometimes it’s not the right answer for an individual. One thing I decided during my transition out of dentistry was that leaving was a choice. Life doesn’t HAVE to be difficult. We’re taught that we need to work hard or suffer in order to be able to feel like we are worth anything, and it doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t have to have a job that stresses me out and makes me miserable. Why can’t I have a job that is fulfilling, fun, and even easy? Who made those rules up anyway? I wish you luck!

  13. Of course, I have a different perspective from many of your fine readers (I’m not a dentist 🙂 ), but this post still strikes home.
    I’ve felt like this. I kept telling myself that I was staying with my job because of the great networking possibilities. I was a public speaker, and would routinely speak for seven hours a day to multiple audiences ranging from 30 to several hundred.
    I gave it everything I had, and I was very good at it. I was being approached by big names wanting to “bring me on board”. The problem was that I couldn’t accept any of their offers because I wasn’t educated. Knowing this, and not wanting to shame myself, I would decline without giving a reason. The perfect opportunity never came, and I was quickly becoming a sleepless, depressed, alcoholic.
    The funny thing was that I would get letters and emails on a daily basis from people telling me that had given them hope; the passion behind my words had changed their lives. People would want to talk endlessly with me (I was pretty good at escaping those situations) and they wanted me to pose for pictures after my sessions. I felt like a rock star. Then I’d go home, find my dark spot, and drink.
    The perfect job… only with a boss that wanted to see me fail. The company was non-profit, so my success brought nothing to the company’s bottom line.
    My boss would tamper with my success results, and enter inaccurate statistics into the database. She would then hold company wide meetings, and harp about my performance results and why I was on the bottom of the charts. The funny thing was that, for the first year, I was always on top of the charts. And I mean my bars would make the other’s look like they didn’t exist. Kind of like what your stats look like when you have hundreds of visits on a day right after you’ve had… like three. How did that change overnight? I knew how.
    At one point, in a private meeting, my boss offered me the company. When I turned her down, she accused me of trying to steal her position. What the hell?!! Allegedly, I was “sexist”.
    She would bring me into her office and glare at me for several awkward moments, then tell me she was going to withhold my pay because of my performance.
    One day, I’d had enough, and I told her off. I mean I really bloody well told that bitch the fuck off.
    But she could always keep it under control and come out on top. After I told her off, she pulled out a background check on me. I had no idea that she’d ever done a check, but it revealed a nasty blot. She held that in my face and then reminded me that I had no education. I was the only staff member who didn’t hold a degree, and she reminded of this. “I’m the only person who would stick my neck out for you”, she’d say. “With a criminal record and no education, you have nowhere to go”.
    It got worse; I’m just keeping it short.
    Wish I’d read this back then. That experience changed me. It changed who I was for a couple of years. I let myself get beat down.
    Anyway. That’s it I guess.
    Doing better now. I’m even my old self.

    1. By the way, after working for that company I set a criteria for my next job.

      1. I would never work for another company whose bottom line wasn’t directly connected to my performance. This was the most important one for me personally.

      2. I would always keep and consider career alternatives. I’d not get locked in.

      3. I would listen to feedback from my wife and friends, regarding my health and my job.

      4. I would never again work under a woman. Hey… I’m just saying. This works for me, and I’m sticking to it. Lol. 😉

      And to help qualify my first comment, three years ago, when I started with my present company, their previous year’s gross intake was $900,000. Last year, we topped 3 million.
      I’m the only sales representative. I’ve also created and implemented a new structure for operations, that has cut back our annual loss by a few hundred thousand.
      I’ve done many other huge things as well, and I’m saying this because otherwise I may sound like silly idiot ranting about his lack of performance.

      Damn, Lola. Is this payback for you hijacking my comments? Maybe 😉

      1. I made similar policies for myself after getting burned. I love #2. I’m sort of in that mindset right now. Why box myself in? It’s amazing how that makes me feel less anxiety, knowing I don’t have to be stuck. And #4… you are sexist. Jk. The majority of dental assistants I have ever worked with hate working with female dentists because they think they are so mean and bitchy. They always told me I was great, of course. haha! You should be proud for what you’ve accomplished. That’s impressive. And paybacks are welcome anytime.

      2. Hi Lola, This article is great, but I’ve got to say I really feel for YOU, Dinkerson.

        It is great you have changed your position as that is what we must do in life. Yet, I would LOVE to know how that first company is today – did it flop when you left? Please say yes!! …. ah yes, I have all the bad elements of being, yes, human.

        I cannot believe that first boss altered the stats. This is criminal, is it not? Can you prove it? Why did you not prove it then?

        Education has very little to do with the success of a person. You were successful then. You ought (my view) have accepted you were successful (rather than believing what they were wanting you to believe; that a degree is the big thing, not the performance/content is the big thing) – and enjoyed being successful and accepted offers. I think it would have been awesome for you to have been more successful, doing all the rounds, accepting offers, and your boss showing you she knows about your past, you smiling, and saying, “Yes, my past made me what I am today – it’s why I am a great speaker’.

        But I don’t know, ideal outcomes, ideals…

        You’re amazing how you are now today. KUDOS & BLESSINGS.

        1. Thanks! I love your comment about being human. Too true. Wise words you have here. See what dinkerson does to my posts when I hijack his blog in the comments section? He comes he and one-ups me! 😉

        2. Noeleen,

          Thanks!

          You are right that there was a way to properly respond to the old hag. Chin up works well in these situations. Unfortunately, I let myself slowly get beat down into something that wasn’t familiar to me. In my new, altered state, I didn’t know how to respond. And there is very much to this devilish story that hasn’t been told.

          The company went under. A former colleague emailed me something about it.

    2. Talk about being stuck! That’s quite a story, dink. I can only imagine how being/feeling trapped in that situation stripped you of everything that you really are. I was having an interesting conversation with the wife of an orthodontist the other day. She shared her theory with me: when you are living your life in conflict with who you really are to the core, it will break you down and ultimately lead to your demise. (She was specifically referring to a dentist she knows who has become a big time mover and shaker, and that’s not who he really is. He is having marital problems, drinking a lot, etc… and she thinks this is the root of it.) Your story makes me think there is really something to this theory. It sounds like there is more to your story, but you strike me as someone who goes for what he wants (based on your follow-up comment;) and feeling stuck and unable to move on to bigger and better things combined with trying to avoid feeling ashamed was in total conflict to who you are. Glad you got out of that horrible situation and are now yourself again. I am finally realizing 1 year out of my career what it feels like to be myself again– after 10+ years!!

    1. Thanks! And to think I cut my hours down to 25 hours per week and was still miserable. It’s really scary and not fair for a patient to have someone working on them who hates doing it, but sadly a lot of people in many jobs are stuck and hate what they do. Unfortunately something as high stakes as dentistry isn’t immune. However, as miserable as someone may be, I can’t imagine anyone ever hoping for their work to be a disaster. That only leads to more misery. 🙂

  14. “1.You buy a Powerball ticket every chance you get, and it’s not just a quick, carefree purchase. It’s a ritual born out of desperation. You check the numbers on the ticket, daydreaming and lusting for a different future. Whether you win or not, it feels so good to escape your life even for just a few moments.”

    LOOOOOOOL!!!! 😀 😀 😀

    “7… You fear anything that will make you feel more committed, or in other words, more stuck.”

    Oh my goodness, so true! I’m 33 and living with my parents. The thought of getting a mortgage based on my current salary – no way! That would mean I’ll have to be a dentist forever!

    Listen. Now that you’ve got your ideal career going, it strikes me that if your Powerball ticket came through in a major way, you wouldn’t need it. You could consider starting a charity for…me lol 😀

    1. Ha! You will be the first to get some charity… ok, well, maybe the 3rd or 4th. Would you believe that I don’t buy the Powerball ticket anymore!!! Only on rare occasions just for the fun of it. But it’s definitely not out of desperation. That feels good. And as far as living with your parents– I used to make a lot more money than I do now, but I was much more tight with it because I wanted to save as much as I could so I could retire sooner! 🙂

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