I consider myself to be pretty lucky.
Take my dating history, for example. Whenever a relationship ended, it simply ended. There were times after a break-up that I’d daydream about the guy trying to win me back. It never happened. I often felt defeated, thinking maybe I just wasn’t worth fighting for. Then I’d observe other women (or men) going back again and again to some douche-bag that treated her like shit. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t love herself enough to just walk away. How weak.
Then one day it dawned on me: I’m sure that could have easily been me once or twice if given the chance. Think about it… you spend some time forming an intimate relationship with someone, and suddenly it just ends. Even if it’s what you want, or you know that it’s for the best, there’s a period in which you simply miss that other person. I’m sure I could have been convinced to give it another go if given the chance during those lonely, vulnerable times.
But now I just consider myself lucky. I never got wrapped up in those pointless and destructive on again-off again cycles.
Except that 1 time… sort of.
Let me fill you in on what happened before going back to that old relationship. I went down to Hankey Pankey and worked the connection for a job in my city. Sure enough, there was a practice looking for an associate. They decided to hire me for 2 days a week as a starting point. I went back to dream boss #1 and asked if I could cut my 4-day week down to 2 days in order to consolidate my time and be more productive. He agreed, with the full disclosure that the other 2 days would be spent in another office. It was clear to both of us that this was the beginning of the end. So as he started blatantly sabotaging my schedule, I got sick of it and finally decided to bail.
Alright, here’s where the “old flame” comes back into the picture. My old boss kept inviting me back. I never felt burned by him, so he definitely didn’t fall into the douchey category, but it certainly was a relationship that should have ended just once. I left that first 30-patients-a-day-dysfunctional-office on good terms with him. I decided I would rather be where I was welcome, treated well, and actually get paid– even if it meant compromising on some of my former deal breakers. It was easy and comfortable, and after all I only had to tolerate it one day a week. I wasn’t in the mood to start all over again somewhere else. With a little space and distance, and a new perspective, it’s funny how you can start to appreciate the good things and forget about some of the bad. This choice came down to the fact that I would rather be in an office where someone wanted me than be with someone who didn’t really want me around.
It was nice to be wanted.
So that was it. I actually took a step backwards, giving in to the comforts of an old relationship. And here I was once again working with the “old flame,” while at the same time looking forward to a new future with a new dream job.